Today

I am tired...so damn tired

I have insomnia, I have had it for 10 years...very little sleep, I can't sleep at all at night...so I walk around like a zombie, and Today I am just so damn tired.

I went and got Ashley from school today and some little boy shoved her into the wall, he was alot bigger than her and her friend Kushkeron, I was mad, but didn't say anything, I waited for her to tell me...she says this boy has picked on them all day, saying mean things (as little boys do) and that they ignored him, then he got mad that he didn't get a rise and shoved them, she told him he mad a mistake cause I saw...she was right, I am angry...this boy is not a good kid, he stabbed a boy in the hand with a pencil...they gave him detention for the rest of the year and took away his recess...he should have been expelled...he tells the teachers off daily, he has been in 7 fights, this is 5th grade, and I hate that my daughter doesn't feel safe...the girls are going to talk to the teacher...then I am going to talk to her, I know I should let the kids work it out, but I hate that this boy does this to all the little girls on a daily basis...so tomorrow I will have a talk with the teacher about finding a solution.

Ashley talks alot, I mean non-stop at times...it makes me laugh somedays and want to scream for peace on others lol...so today she talks all the way home about the field trip we are going on next week (she is so excited) and then without skipping a beat she changed the subject to her friend, then to another thing, my tired brain had a hard time keeping up, she got frustrated that I wasn't following her line of thinking and told me to snap out of it lol...my poor girl cracks me up. She wants to go for a long walk today...so we will. She likes to get away, just the 2 of us...she takes that time to tell me everything...I enjoy these walks, I know soon she will be to old, that scrares me. she is my baby, my funny girl...we have been everything to each other since day one...I was her best friend as she was mine, I never let the "friend" part get in the way of the mommy part, I am a mom first and then a friend...she understands that. I love the fact that she isn't afraid to tell me anything, I love that she trusts me like that, I never trusted my mom. We have had alot of talks lately about growing up and what she needs to know...but I haven't discussed sex, I have no idea where to start on that topic, shes only 10...I hear kids at her school joke about it and even say they have done it, so I know I need to talk to her, I wish someone had told me lol...

Last night she came in and watched Gilmore Girls with me...we do that every week...she crawled in bed and we were cuddled up with the dog and cat watching it and she asked how a person gets pregnant...I gave the it happens when 2 people love each other line, then thought about it later, I missed a good time to tell her...so I will bring it up tonight.

I bought her a bra a few months ago and she hates it lol...she says its uncomfortable to wear...but shes getting to need one lol, I also bought her deoderant, she had me show her how to use it...we have discussed what happens when you get your period...but sex...this is going to suck lol

Anywyas I am gonna go lay down and let my brain rest for a minute lol but I am so not done blogging for the day lol...bye