Business Trip

Ken is away on another business trip, and hes having alot of fun, I am so happy for him. He loves what hes doing, he only wishes he got paid better. He will be home Thursday or Friday. I miss him though...lol thats just me. He was telling me about the sites hes seen, he sounded very happy. I am trying not to freak out over this business trip, I did with the last, although I had good reason to...but this time there was nothing before hand...so I was all ok, until last night lol...I called and he said he would call me back when he was out of the restroom, I logged on and there he was on AIM...never called me back, just on line...then he said he had a lap top for this trip, so that was cool, but why not call me back? I got over it...let it go, I was to tired to dwell on it lol...but today hes called twice, and he sounded so happy, and I was happy for him, but on the last call he sounded like something was wrong, probably me worring for nothing...I worry alot about where we stand...only because I have never had a guy just love me, to be true to me, but I am working hard at it, in trusting him...we have had alot of issues where my trust has been tried, and his trust in me as well. But I am very honest with him, to honest probably...

When he left on his last trip, alot went wrong...I had a call and he got upset and went outside, I went out after him...he knew who I was talking to and everything, not sure why he was mad, says hes not now, but it really seemed like it to me...then he got a call...someone returning his call, and he had wanted to meet them up there...have no idea who it was, he never tells me who hes talking to, always makes me wonder...this time I think he didn't tell me on purpose, I got up and left the room, he never went to see what was wrong, I worried about him, and felt he didn't worry about me, I left the room because it hurt to know he wanted to meet someone up there and he never told me...I came back to the room and he ignored me...then in the morning he packed his stuff and went home, he was supposed to stay another night, we had made all kinds of plans...so I knew he was mad at me, I just didn't know why.

I am so glad he is having a chance to get all of these chances in his job, I really honestly am...and I am so glad he is having fun, he deserves it, he takes on so much and I worry about him so much, I love him, and I feel guilty for my thoughts...I think when hes on the road he prefers not to hera from me, to sort of have a vacation, so I think I am not going to call him, or seek him out, I will keep my messanger off, hes the only one on my AIM anyways...I love the goof ball and I need to just stop my brain from going nuts on me... well anyways enough stupid thoughts for one day