I Miss My Baby :o(

My daughter started 6th grade today...I miss her already...I couldn't wait for this and now I am sad :o(

I still remember the first day of kinder...she was so tiny, smaller than all the other kids...clutching my hand so tightly...trusting I will always protect her...

today as I walk her to school, hand in hand...we chat...she tells me who she hopes is in her class and who she doesn't...shes glad I faught to get her changed to a different teacher, but still scared for what will come...we enter the gates of the school...all the teachers and everyone knows me...we get Hi's from everyone...shes hugging all her friends...the bell rings, she has to go...but she turns to me and hugs me...we say our I love you's...and then she says "I am so lucky mommy..." I ask her why "because you love me enough to walk me to school everyday even though we live so close, and because I know no matter what happens to me today at school, you will be at the gate to take me home when its all done, thank you mommy" I am blown away as I tell her I would do anything in this world to make her day a little better, that I loved her...she goes to class...I sit there...

How lucky am I

She is so amazing, and she has grown up so fast...I miss the little baby I craddled and the toddler I chased after, but I admire and respect the young lady shes turning into more and more everyday.

I love when school starts because shes back with her friends and shes able to do what she loves...learn...and at the same time I hate it because I miss her alot...

We are very close, play togather everyday...rollar blades, board games, game cube...you name it we do it, plus theres all the wrestling, goofing off and tickling...shes my best friend lol I mean we are always togather...

I remember the first night we spent apart...she was 7 and Ken was taking me away for the night to Morro Bay...I was so nervous about it...she cried, I held her...my baby...we got there and I guess I looked sad...Ken told me to call her...I did...we then played on the beach and walked all around and ate...he told me to call again (man does he know me) we get to the room...and before we go to bed he hands me my phone...I do my goodnight story to Ash on the phone...I loved it and hated it all at once...

I am just so damn lonely without my goof ball here bugging me...so I am now off to take a nap...I have been up since 5 after 35 minutes of sleep...damn kidney stones...at least this time the pain is way way way less than all the other times...9 major kidney stone attacks in 7 years...hmmm and the docs all say nothing they can do...ASSHOLES...sorry bout that I am in pain, missing ash and just plain old feeling sorry for myself right now...I think any mommy watching their baby turn into a young lady gets a little time to feel bad lol

bye all :o)