A Brand New Day

I have reread everything I have written, and as much as its true...the way I felt and feel...I am not just going to focus on the bad. I am going to let all my feelings out, but I am also going to let the good ones through, and I hope in time they will shine through the most.

Ashley is still on Spring Break...she finally goes back Monday...my poor baby hates not being in school, I hated school, but she loves it. She has a big day coming up as well, she is going to speak in front of the central school board on how to properly use the internet tools offered to students now. She is really excited about it. We are also planning a trip to Disneyland. We have not been in 3 years...we used to go every year, so Ashley is pretty excited to see all the new things there.

Ken did great on his business trip and thanks to how well he did they are training him for better things and they are going to give him a raise, I know I flipped out over his trip, I was scared, I was worried that he was going to meet someone...but I need to believe in him, in us, more. I am proud of him, and so happy for the way things are going for him. He did call me after I blogged last time...I was so relieved, I shouldn't have been, but I was. I am so in love with him...hes my silly man and I adore him. You should see how excited him and Ashley are about racing season being here lol...he wants to drive so bad, and I am hoping we will have enough money so that he can next year.

I am trying to get back in to college...I want to finish what classes I need in order to get a great job working with Special Needs children. I love working with Kids so much, it has been my dream job for as long as I can remember...Children are so remarkable...they don't hide what they feel and they don't hold back most of the time, they either like you or not, no games. When I was teaching I was so happy, I came home everyday as happy as could be full of stories of the kids...I miss working with children, I miss working with my special needs students the most...I am hoping when all my medical problems are over I can go back to work...

I am losing weight again, which is a good thing...I hate what I look like right now, I am so worn out from being sick, and so depressed form being fat...things have to get better for me, or at least you would think so lol...I have no complaints today, I am just happy...Ken and I have spent alot of time togather this week and its been good, I hate only seeing him on weekends, we are so ready to be a family...we just can't afford it right now...we want to rent a house so that theres a back yard for the dogs and ashley, and so that I can plant flowers...I love having flowers everywhere...when I lived with my grandma I planted over 40 packs of flowers seeds and had flowers everywhere, and I had so much fun taking care of them everyday...I want to get back to that version of me, the one who found happiness inside herself and therefore made others happy...maybe I will start a garden here, in the front yard lol.

well I am gonna go for now...gotta go get ready to go shopping for some snack foods for ashley and tyler (kens nephew) for Saturdays racing...wooohooo I can't wait to watch live racing again....love NASCAR but its not the same as rooting on your friends :o)