Little Man

Ok sorry for not posting before...Just taking life in and thinking...What the fuck!

LOL sorry for the bad word, just how I have felt since the call that C was hurt...

Ok so I will update you...Little Man was in bad shape, when they put a choke hold n him he passed out and didn't regain consciousness for 5 hours, the docs said we nearly lost him...He looks like hell, bruised up face, bad knee, sore ribs and all kinds of bruises...But he's ok and out of the hospital...

Well see C has this old ass girl friend (23 LOL) and they live together in the slums, no where else would rent to a 23 year old with an underage woman....So they live in a dangerous place in a town to far away for me to be happy LOL...

Well when he got out of the hospital my uncle decided the only way anyone would rent to them is if they got married, my poor little man never even got to rest, my uncle took them to Reno and got them married...HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! He is still a baby, learning all about life, so not mature...But now he's a husband to a looney woman...And oh no, she's pregnant, told them after the ceremony...

Ok so my poor beat to hell kid cousin is going to be a daddy with a girl mentally unstable with 1 child she doesn't have custody of due to being a few bricks short...But I support him (not them, him). They are hopefully moving within the week...I want to them to move here, I need them to LOL...I want to be able to help him, to protect him...He deserves so much more than what he's gotten lately...He really is a good kid that just wants someone to love him and want him, and I hope to hell she takes care of him, she so better never fuck with him, I will hunt her down like I did my ex-sister-in-law...My family is very important to me and I do take it personally if you hurt the ones I love.

Today Ashley is at the water park, its their 6th grade farewell thing...First field trip I have not been on since she started school LOL...She wanted me to go, but I didn't want to spend 7 hours in the 100 degree weather chasing around a bunch of giggling girls LOL...Thursday is her last day, she's pretty upset over it...

I am also having huge issues with her and her weight...She feels she's over weight, someone said something, and now I have to make her eat...She counts calories, won't drink anything but water, and yesterday I found out she's not eating lunch, she's throwing it away. She doesn't eat breakfast, always been hard to get her to do, even as a baby...She is throwing her lunch away and I am forcing her to eat diner (she tries to throw it away), so Ken and I are going to get her some supplements, but with summer cvacation here I will be able to watch her better...Never thought I would beg my child to drink a soda...

We spent a fortune for her on healthy snacks, fruit and tons of water, but still she just doesn't want to eat...In the last few months she has lost probably 20 pounds, she's at 90 right now, and she's getting taller and has all these scary ass curves..She has me worried.

At 17 I weighed 89 pounds, I hated my body, always felt fat, so I stopped eating...I would have water and crackers most of the time, that was till they said I was pregnant LOL...Then I did eat, and I ate healthy...No sodas or tea or fatty crap, I did it all by the book, but I also got very sick and theats when I put on weight LOL I got up to 140...Then got down to 115 and then got hospitalized due to a severe rhumitoid flare up in my hip, I was there 5 days and put on heavy steroids...I blew up like a balloon, since then my health has been crap and everytime I lose weight I end up on steroids again. I have been on them for 45 days recently, and stopped, on my own, didn't taper off...Not a smart thing to do...Withdrawals and all that suck...

I see her going down the same route as me, being anerexic like, and never being happy with who she is...So we are working on all positive reinforcements and teaching her the proper way to eat, its going to be a battle, she wants so bad to be what society considers perfect, to me she already is...Beautiful, intelligent and goofy :) I hope this is a short faze and not like me...I just want her to be happy, I want her to love who she is, to see that beauty and be proud...

Anyways I have been rambling, sorry bout that...Between Charles and Ash I have had so much on my mind, so much to worry about...theres other stuff but I will write about ti later...

Till then...