Damn Tired

So much has been happening, one big thing after another, and it has left me drained and tired...

My moms friend is having a hard time with the loss of her daughters, shes giving up living, I feel so bad for her, the pain she must be going through, the funeral was very small, just a feww close family and friends were there, we didn't go because I didn't know her good enough, the store also didn't let many of the people have the time off to go...it must have been lonely in some ways...

They had a large yard sale at the store to help make some money for her, they had a bake sale and just tons of things, everyone wanted to do something, most gave what they could, but even then it never feels like enough in a situation like that...my heart hurts for her, I watch Ashley run around with her boundless energy and I can't fathom not having her with me all the time...it breaks my heart that anyone has to go through this type of loss..
_____________________________________________________________

charles and his wife are now staying with my grandparents, its not a good situation at all. C and his dad take so much from my grandparents and never ever give back, they are living there, and help with nothing...makes me so angry with him. I love the kid, and I want the very best for him, but I hate when anyone uses my grandparents, they deserve to have some down time, they raised their kids, some of the grandkids and they are almost in their 80's, they need time to relax.

C's wife is just not all there, the more I talk to her, the more tired I get of her. Shes 23, has a son (she doesn't have custody of) pregnant by my 17 year old cousin and keeps asking what to do for the pregnancy. She acts beyond helpless and her brain works in a freaky ass way. She is definatly not all there, and my cousin is starting to feel trapped by it all...not a good situation at all...I wish he could have found a different path through life.
____________________________________________________________

Ashley keeps me laughing...she is so wierd sometimes lol...see she knows I will talk to her about anything, if she has questions I answer them...just before school was out they had sex ed...so she likes to try and shock me with silly questions, it cracks me up, freaks my moms out and makes Ken blush...its great! She knows I am on the pill, just because she has seen me refill it a million times...she tells me mom why do you have to get so many, geez can't you guys take a break, why every night...lol she had thought that I only took the pill the times we were ummm intimate lol so she had thought we were like rabbits or something...cracked me up.

We went shopping and got her the Veet to shave her legs, we have not tried it yet, but have talked alot about it, I need her to understand once she starts, the hair will grow back, thicker and darker...and that it can be a pain at times lol, but she says shes ready...

Seems like just yesterday she was my little girl, sitting on a swing while I pushed her, singing down down baby...or running through the grass chasing butterflies...now shes this little woman, this silly girl who is trying to find her place in the world, she amazes me daily...my little girl is my everything :o)
___________________________________________________________

This Saturday night we went to the races as usual, but it was a special race...it was a fathers day race to honor the late great Jeff Anthony...I wrote about his death in November and how it impacted so many people...at the ceremony his wife and young son (3) were there, she gave a speech that made me cry, and he got to throw the honorary green flag...it was an emotional night, yet wonderful all at once.

I t was a great night, the special family ones that you never forget...I love that we do so much as a family, and that Ken always includes Ashley...he never refers to her as my child, but our child...hes as proud of her as I am, and hes been an active part of her life almost since the begining. I am so lucky to have these 2 in my life...
________________________________________________________

The 29th we are going camping till the 2nd I think...I love going camping :o)
every year its been a family tradition for Kens family to all go togather, but this year his pop has not been well, and his sister has decided not to go and so on, so it will be just us...we are hoping one of Ashley's friends can go, if not she will be a little on the bored side...sumer is never a great time for her...her friends are from strict families, no staying over, and no going places and so on, so she gets a little lonely...we try to take her to see family alot so shes around kids and can laugh, but its not always possible...poor kid is so bored...

We take her to the Library probably every 2 weeks, sometimes more often...she gets 5-9 books ata time and finishes them pretty fast, she wants all kinds of books for her birthday and asks for new books constantly, so the library helps a little with the expensis lol...my daughter is an amazing reader, she stopped reading childrens chapter books when she was like 6...she hated that they were so short and the story lines were so weak, she loves classic novels or pre-teen sillyness lol...she has this crazy need to always read...lol she got that from me :o)

Well I have bored you enough so I will now go and clean my kitchen...ugh between the family and the animals its a mess lol :o)