We had fun doing it, laughed alot...I think it helped us to get into the christmas spirit.
Ken and I still are feeling beyond guilty for the lack of funds for christmas presents, but we both know Ashley understands, things are just hard right now...
Ashley is feeling better, we ended up in the emergency room, she was just so sick and not getting any better. She is on antibiotics and all that, it is beyond expensive to have a sick kid now a days, the meds can kill a person, then there are the cough syrups, the lozengers the tons of liquid tylenol (that crap is freaking unreal, but her throat was so sore and swollen she couldn't swallow a pill). Its wierd that we had a small amount and now boom its gone...we will find a way to make christmas happen, it just will be small.
Its this time of the year I resent her father the most!!!! I hate that he is probably spoiling the kids he lives with (he has many kids and lives with the ones from his latest girlfriend or last I heard he was). I hate that he has never once helped out, I hate that he is such a stupid mean jerk that i truely never want her to have to face, but damn I wish he would man up and help out...
When Ashley was 2 he sent me a crazy letter and it had 5 bucks in it...he told me to buy Ash a toy with it and let her know it was from him...what a freak!!!! He was a mean man who hurt me so much in so many other ways...I never want to see him, I never want to face that kind of fear again, but I do resent the lack of support...but in he end we are all better off with out it!!!!
lol I know wierd rant...but it was just something on my mind...just a mommy feeling guilty for not being able to give her daughter all that she deserves...
Blah lol off to listen to christmas music to help get in the mood again lol...
take care all and remember to smile :) lol
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