Shhhh

I am so tired...I want to crawl back into bed and crash, but I can't...I have things to do and all of that.

My Papa is out of the hospital, he decided he had had enough....my Papa is an old truck driver who thinks hes tougher than he is lol...he kinda looks like a pissed off Santa Claus lol...white beard and hair, big belly...and he can give you a look that can scare the hell out of outsiders...

but us, his family knows that look, it leads up to a huge smile and a goofy joke. He loves to be hugged by his grandkids and great grandkids and always says "think your to good to hug an old man...well I can still put you over my knee" he has never spanked us, but we always took him serious.

Anyways, he checked himself out of the hospital...said they were trying to kill him with bad food and crappy people...he doesn't mix words lol...they found him at the pay phones calling my grandma and arguing about leaving...they figured if he was strong enough to do all of that then he could go home and a nurse would come take care of him...really I think he scared the shit out of the nurses, but thats just my thought.

I have been out there everyday since, swimming and chatting with him...my Papa amazes me, always has...he has lived a wild life. Hes been a truck driver since he was 18, and owned his own trucking company at 27...he loves the road, and when hes really cranky we all know hes going to hit the road soon, even though he retired when he was 47...he still owns a truck lol...thats my pop...

Alot of people thought he was my dad...hes not though, hes my Grandpa...but hes been like my dad my whole life. He taught me how to fish, taught me to love nature, he showed me I should never fear an animal...he taught me alot and I can't imagine a life without him...

My Papa and Grandma argue all the time...people on the outside would think they mean it lol...they are loud Greeks...they argue and then my pop swats her butt and kisses her and she still blushes...when hes out on his tractor she loves to watch him, tells me he is sexy lol "she thinks my tractors sexy" lol sorry had to do it...and when hes getting ready to hit the road she gets all his stuff ready and then they hold each other and whisper loving things, then he kisses her and says its easy for me to go cause I have you to come back to...

I want to be loved like that...where after 50+ years my man still looks at me and loves me that strong...when my Papa was in the hospital he was so pale and weak, and my grandma refused to leave his side, he kept telling her to go home and get some rest, but nope, my little grandma wouldn't...we took her to lunch one day and she was so sad, she said she couldn't imagine living a life not loving him, not taking care of him, and not having him love her...my grandparents are the best...and I just know my papa is going to be ok...hes so strong, and he has to be there for all of us...his 5 kids...18 grandkids and 10 great grandkids...we all need him so much, my grandparents are our rock :o)


ok now for the rest of my day...I chatted with an online friend last night for awhile...hes fallen in love with a girl from the philipines and is paying for her to go to nursing school there, they have never met, been 2 years...she has a little boy and has been married twice...I worry cause he's easily hurt...he sends her money every month, he says shes going to move here and marry him, I guess she will, but I doubt for the reasons he believes, but I hope and pray it all works out for him, I wish he could meet someone local and fall in love, but he never goes out, hes been hurt and refusses to get back into the swing of things...I say shes conning him, and at the same time I hope shes not, he deserves happiness...heres to hoping

Ken and I are still going strong...he can't wait till his day comes to race...he loves Racing at Madera Speedway and so him and his brother in law have become partners in owning a car and are sharing the ride till they can get the other car up and going...yep we are all NaSCAR fans and going to our local races everyweekend is great. The drivers are all really sweet to the kids and the racing is awesome...we are big fans and so yeah we yell at the bad calls and all of that lol...Ken more so than me...he gets really upset which makes Ash and I laugh...but its nice, the whole family togather laughing and getting all excited...its so great :o)

Ashley is still pretty worried about school, I have tried to call a few times, but no one in the office yet...her school hates to deal with me...I always fight for her, and I always will. I wanted to change her schools this year, but she talked to me and wants to stay with her friends, I understand that...its hard being a kid, and so I am letting her...6th grade in the same school, but then I am changing her to a better district. I want her dreams to come true and I want her to love school...she will go to an all GATE Junior High, I have to buy her a laptop, its required, I have no problem doing so...I would do anything for her...always.

For her birthday she got one of those dance mats for her PS2 and she is on it all day, she is getting so good, she made a comment that if she keeps this up she will be skinny, I was like huh? You are skinny...your 11 you don't need to worry about any of this...so I will keep talking to her. She is self concious about her teeth as well, her gums are big...and so she hates to smile, I am taking her to a specialist to see what he can do to help her, he said with braces it will help, so she will get braces...she wants them to lol...wants to be like me ;)

We took her and got her new glasses last month and she loves them, she got gold rims and blue rims...she just loves the gold ones, they kind of fade away...her eye sight is bad, and deginative (sp). It will only get worse, so we take her every year for new glasses...we do what we can...she is my miracle, my beauty, my life. I love her so much, she is amazing and smart and funny...she is my reason for getting up everyday, my reason for smiling and laughing...my reason for living...before I found out I was pregnant I was very depressed, I had alot going on in my life and I just wanted to be gone...then the docs said I was pregnant, my world changed right then, I was happy and had something to live for...she saved my life...every moment of every day I am reminded of how lucky I am to have her...she is my heart and soul...shes my reason for everything

I know I know I have gone on and on and I am sorry about that, but oh well lol...I am off to make a fool of myself on Ashleys dance mat with her...I will do anything to make her laugh :o)