R E S P E C T....

theres a huge lack of that here where I live.


Ken and my mom seldom get along, my mom believes with all her heart that Ken hates her, and so she doesn't try anymore to get along, Ken...well he is just mean to her. He talks down to her all the time, gets pissed at her over everything, and has no respect for her...and it pisses me off so bad!!!!!


Ken kisses his families ass, he would do anything and everything for them, and thats an amazing thing, it hurts when he clearly allows them to say hurtful things to Ash and I...but heres the kicker, no matter how mean his family is to me, no matter how horridly they treat me, I always treat them with respect...ALWAYS. I do that because they are important to him, and I would never want to hurt him that way. His mom has been outright mean to me so many times, after nearly 10 years she still treats me like a disposible girlfriend who Ken will dump any moment now. when he lived there I would clean that house top to bottom, and never got told thank you, I would go out of my way to make sure they all were happy and had whatever it was they needed, nope, no thanks...they have never made me feel welcome, I dont know why. I guess they cant wait to see me gone, and that hurts more than you could know.


My mom bends over backwards for Ken...he needs gas money, she gets it for him (after his family has said nope) he needed warmer clothes...she got them for him, he never gives her credit for anything. His total lack of respect for her, and me is getting old real quick.


I know hes under crazy stress, I know hes upset with himself...I KNOW, but it doesn't make what hes doing right, hurting me day after day, its not right...hurting my mom hurts me, still he doesn't care...


I am lost, more than just lost. If I ever treated his family the way he treats mine he would blow up, all hell would break loose...but he could careless about the way he treats others.


If he doesn't make a change, there is nothing I can do...we wont make it. I deserve to be treated better, I deserve to be treated like I matter, I deserve to be respected and loved...


I know I bitch alot about Ken lately, well thats cause we are going through some really bad times, and his total lack of communication and his disrespect for me is almost to much...I am under a shit load of stress and I would never treat him this way, no matter what I always put his needs first, things need to change...one way or another. :(