Aunt Mary

On Friday my great Aunt Mary passed away after a rough and long battle with cancer and old age. I can't say that I knew to much about her, I had never met her till she was put in the convelescent home 2 years ago. She was my Grandmas Aunt and my Grandma loved her so much, so to me that means she must have been a remarkable person.

Aunt Mary was a nurse in world war II, she was a tall, strong proud woman who had a passion for all her patients. I got to see some of her trinkets that my grandma got and they showed alot of her personality...there was alot of old fashioned pieces that shined and yet were simple...there was her nurses pendent and all of her name badges from her very first one...

She had a thing for candy bars, especially Snickers lol. My grandma and I would go to the store and get new dresses and slippers for Mary and at the same time get her 7 snickers, one for every day of the week, but we had to ask the nurses to hide them cause Mary would eat them all at once and then get so sick.

Last year Mary had a bad sickness hit her and we nearly lost her, when she fought her way back she wrote a note to her family about her life...the note semed so sad, she was a woman who had suffered so much and was ready for it to end, but she first wanted the chance to say good bye. The note talked about her faith in her religion and how much she loved her family, it talked about snipets of her past and the excitment of her future...but the underlying part was she was ready to die and truely wanted to just end the pain and suffering.

Mary was 92 years old and had lived an amazing life...one I am slowly learning more about...

My Grandma is not handling this to well...except for her sister, Mary was the last of her relatives...the last link she felt she had to her past. I sat with her as she went through Mary's baubles and she talked and cried and I was so glad to be there for her and with her. My Grandma was not related by blood to Mary. Mary was my grandmas step dads sister, but she was her aunt all the same...my grandma had never met her dad so Grandpa Sam was the only dad she knew and his family was all she knew as well...to this day my grandma is sad that she never knew her real dad but she is happy to have had the dad she did.

I learn more everyday about my grandmas family and how much she loved them all...I feel privlidged to have met Mary, to have had the oppurtunity to have known her, even for such a short time...

Today was her funeral and I just couldn't go...the last funeral I had attended was my dads mom, my amazing grandma, and I just couldn't do another one yet. I feel horrid, but I mentally just couldn't do it...I have yet to heal from loosing Grandma and going to the cemetary would havee hurt so much...but I will go to the grave site...alone...say my good-byes to her without an audience, and I will visit my grandmas grave...put new flowers on both...yes I feel bad for not going, but I am glad I didn't go all the same...

I just wish I had had a chance to have known her better...

Bye Aunt Mary...we will all miss you