Why?

For weeks now Ken has been in a foul mood, snapping at everyone and everything...and I have no idea why. The worst part is I am having a hard time this year, seriously hard time, cry at the drop of a dime, feel so lost...and the disconnect between us is breaking an already broken heart.

We went to teh motocross on ice races and he was very cold and stand-offish, I did all the talking (blabber when I am nervous) he acted as if I was an inconvience, destroyed me. When we have gone shopping for gifts he has been down right mean and cruel to me, knowingly...I call him on it and hes like whatever sorry...

Tonight he over reacted big time, we agree on almost nothing politically...honestly its true, I think most of what he says is so old crotchy and outdated, but I never put him down for it, I let him say what he has to, and often just say we are ok to agree to disagree, but if I say anything he goes on a 40 min talk on why he thinks I am wrong, the whole time talking to me as if I was a stupid child so far beneth him...I dont get it. I dont understand why he is so angry, why he is so ready to put me down...I am not sure if its something I have done or said...but I am sure its getting old really quick.

Loves not supposed to hurt, yet alls I do is hurt, I feel lost with myself, and completely lost from him...I feel so alone that sometimes I think if I just walked away no one would notice, no one but the animals. I am falling a part, worse than I ever have, and instead of being my rock, hes left me out there to wander aimlessly...

I hope things get better, I hope he at least lets me know what the hell I did for him to treat me like this, somthing has to change before its to late for me.