Just so ya know I truely hate Valentines Day....its such a waste, I hate the idea that one day a year is about love, it should be everyday, and come on...why the hell do I want roses? The damn things just die in a few days...geez.
But on a side note I have always gotten Ash something for valentines day, she is my greatest love, my heart and soul, so its only fitting...until she was 11 she believed that the cupid left her a gift lol, I miss those days. This year I spent a little more than usual and got her a gift set of the perfume she wanted, its DKNY Be delicious, it smells so good, young and like apples, I felt it was the perfect first real perfume :) She has a ton of body sprays, its what shes into right now...funny how a tomboy like myself could have such a girly girl lol...but I love it :)
My dizzy spells are still kicking my ass, I am going back to the nuerologist in a few weeks, it sucks when everything you are used to doing is effected by something no one understands. I go to so many doctors its unreal, I have my heart doctor, my head doctor, my foot doctor, my regular dr, my womanly dr, my physical therapist, and my asthma/allergy specialist lol...its crazy to live your life going from one place to the next. It sucks to be so sick that just about every area of your life is effected, it just sucks...
I always find myself apologizing for feeling something, ever catch yourself doing that? I am not sure why I do it, but I do...I think it has alot to do with the fact I like to avoid conflict at all costs lol But its somehting I am working on, I have the right to feel all the crazy ways I do, I shouldn't have to apologize if it makes someone else upset. Just one of those random things I had to put out there...
I have sort of been avoiding my blog, sad but true...there has been some controversy on one of my posts, its one of the ones about the man who murdered my friend. I deleted alot of the comments there, I also left alot up...I hate the man, I hate him with a deep dark hatred. I hate that hes still breathing, while she isn't...I hate that people still try to say hes a good guy, that people change...hes evil, to the core. He killed her, she trusted him, he tortured her friend and left her for dead, but she survived and nailed his ass...I write about it because its a large part of who I am...it changed me in a million different ways.
I write about him because there are so many people out there seeing his profile, looking for friendship from death row, and these people think hes sweet and nice and misunderstood, I write because they are all wrong, I write about it because I need to, for me. This man is a part of my life and I have never met him, he changed who I was and I never saw him face to face...he has haunted my dreams for years...and hes a stranger. I hate that so many people chose to go through me to stand up for him, I hate that they come here and tell me hes a good guy, or even ask me to let it drop, let it go...I can't, I never will...hes a murderer, he killed a child, thats what we were, we were children, just kids...she never got to realy live, she never had so many of those amazing firsts...she never got to meet Ashley.
So if you are coming here to stick up for Royal cLark, just don't. There is nothing you can say that changes how I feel, nothing. If that hurts you, then stop coming here...stop lurking 20 times a day...I will never stop telling people what a crazy piece of shit I think he is...so just go elsewhere to speak up for him...
Sorry had to get that out there, I am just so done with the crap...anyways, I hope everyone has been well and that this freaky weather (cold one day hot the next) isn't driving to many of you completely nuts lol
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