Happy Halloween

I am sorry for not posting on a more regular basis...so many things have been going on in my life that I just haven't had a chance...

Penny...she is my little dog I have talked about with the medical problems...well she isn't getting any better and at this point I need to consider whats best for her. Friday we are taking her in to put her down...its breaking my heart. She is so small and so damn funny...she is a tiny little yorkie that weighs 4 pounds...she is my little shadow. She has slowly become solely my dog (it happens with all the dogs here lol) she was purchased for my mom but became mine from almost the get go...shes been rather difficult since day 1 but I never gave up on her, my mom and Ash really stopped paying her any attention a few years ago, but never me, I hold her and love her all the time, thats why she won't go to them, just me...

I had to put Petrie down not all that long ago and I have not gotten over her passing yet, she was 19 and I don't remember my life with out her, so losing Penny so soon afterwards is just really messing me up...I get very attatched to all my animals and they become so important in my life, especially my dogs...Puppers is 12 and has cancer so I know his time is limited and thats hard enough, Penny is almost 7 and has truely had to struggle for so long now just to breathe that I need to put her needs first...Lady is almost 8 and is pretty healthy and so sweet, she is whats getting us through all of this, I just wonder how losing Penny is going to affect her, they spend all their time togather...like I said my dogs are my babies and I love them so much and I do worry almost daily about them...

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Ken and I are doing good, we have spent alot more time togther as both a family and a couple, it has helped alot...everyday I see him and Ash getting closer, they joke around all the time now and laugh so much, she has also started asking him for things and to go places, she used to ask me to ask him, yes its been 6 years but for most of it we were a weekend family due to seprate places and lifes just throwing us all over the place...

Ken and Ashley crack me up constantly...we have spent almost every evening at my grandmas with Ashley so she can ride her bike (grandma owns 10 acres and has a large track made for biking and walking) and we have had a blast talking, laughing and walking...as well as spending alot of time with my grandparents...its been good for me, getting a chance to rehear all the stories and to be there to help them out more...

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David (my brother) has been going through a hard time lately, as mentioned before he has been battling terminal cancer for a few years now and it has added to his depression big time...well he started going to counceling and things from our past came out and its hurting him so much, hes remembering all the bad things my step dad did to us and he shared some secrets that are haunting all of us...hes really angry at life right now and hes taking it out on my mom alot, he needs someone to blame and hes using her right now...I worry about him, I see him going through all of this pain and I know alls I can do for him is to be there for him, to listen and just be the little sister...

I have been trying to track the step monster down, I can't explain why, at first dark thoughts went through my mind, I wanted him to pay for hurting David...now I just want to know so I can stop looking all over localy, so I can feel alittle safer...I need to know that piece of shit is far away, hell if there was any justice in this world he would be dead...

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thats enough for now...tomorrow I will post the pics from trick-or-treating and all of you can see how beautiful my little pirate was :o)

Sleep tight my bog friends...